Chiang Mai: temples, shopping, and livestock

So we planned to spend some time in Chiang Mai in part because of rave reviews from some friends, and in part because it's supposed to be one of the shopping capitals of Thailand. I don't mean designer-label shopping, I mean night markets and handmade crafty things - I'm not precisely in the market for Prada, but we saw lots of "Prado," "Leevis," and the ever popular "Dolce & Gabanna" (various spellings of this one available). Even the water bottles are knockoffs, mostly of Aquafina. We found similarly-logoed "Aquapura," "Aqua Fina," and "Aquatic" water bottles. None of them made us sick, so I guess that's OK!

We visited some old Buddhist temples - Chiang Mai apparently has almost as many as Bangkok, despite having something like a fourth or fifth the population. Our taxi driver spoke English (he had a book full of testimonials from previous tourists, so we chose him despite his incredibly ancient looking Toyota - the A/C still worked at least!) He showed us some temples, then drove us out to the handicraft district where we toured another silk shop, a gem/silver shop, and a rug/antiques shop. The gift shop at the silk place was enticing, and we could've blown the rest of our budget there, but I made the tough decision to say no to the awesome red & black silk cocktail dress. Yes, it made me look slim and almost curvy, but really...how often do I wear a cocktail dress? OK, never. We also didn't have enough time for Scott to get his custom-tailored suit (even at this pricey place, the cost of the fabric for a suit ranged from about $180-220. We asked how much for the tailoring, and got a blank look. All the sewing is free, apparently, if you buy the fabric! Poor Scott!)

Our taxi driver was at least honest about what he got out of the deal - apparently these shops give him coupons for free gasoline, as long as his customers spend a minimum of 5 minutes in the shop. So each time, he clarified that we needed to spend 5 minutes there, even if we didn't buy anything. Kind of an odd working model, but he was upfront about it, and only charged us $3 for the entire 5 hours he drove us around, so we couldn't complain.

The Sunday evening market in Chiang Mai is the climax of the weekly social scene, both for locals and tourists. The market takes up the main street all the way through town. It's packed with people to the point of claustrophobia at some points, but we had great fun. Street food up the wazoo...we only tried the normal looking stuff, I have to admit; we avoided the fried/steamed bugs (silkworms, crickets, and enormous cockroach looking things called "mackerels" were available), and we didn't partake of the black herbal jello (they grated the jello, mixed with sugar - I think it was plant-based and probably very good for you, but smelled unappealing compared to the fried bananas on a stick, dim sum on a stick, sausage on a stick, chocolate strawberries on a stick, chicken on a stick, pineapple on a stick, and grilled nameless meat on a stick that we did try. Yes, sticks are big at the market. Trash cans are not - we couldn't find one the entire night.

The hotel with many names

Arrived in Hanoi earlier tonight for our brief stay ahead of catching the hydrofoil to Cat Ba for the start of our cruise tomorrow. We've had pretty full itineraries for a while now Sore butts from riding elephants. More later!

Lions and tigers and snakes, oh my!

Keeping on with the livestock theme, today was random zoology day. We started off (again, with our useful taxi driver) heading to "Tiger Kingdom." It's not exactly a zoo nor an animal sanctuary. Instead, tourists fork over money to cuddle/pet/play with large cats. We chose the baby lion/adult tiger package, 15 minutes apiece.

Pretty cute. The baby lions were only a month old, and just slightly larger than a large housecat. After we washed up and disinfected our hands, we got down on the floor to pet 'em. One tended to get a bit snarly if we picked him up, and when he growled, the zookeeper/assistant guy who was in there with us gestured to us to leave him alone. The other, though, was pretty cuddly if sleepy, and snuggled up nicely on Scott's lap. He didn't seem to like ME as well. Sigh.

The grown-up tigers were another story. A little bit scary (and thoughts of insurance issues were running through my head the whole time, naturally). The three tigers were in a large outdoor area, fenced in but grassy with a pond, trees, etc. They also had three handlers in there with us, armed with something approximately as dangerous looking as my mom's old spanking paddle. Hrm, yes, that makes me feel safe.


No worries, though. Our tigers were so lethargic they were practically comatose. (I wondered if they were drugged, but as soon as we left the enclosure, they all got up and started playing and sparring with each other, so maybe they were just playing possum, like, "if we're boring enough, maybe these tourists will go away and leave us alone.") We were told to only approach them from behind (so they wouldn't think we wanted to play), and were not allowed to touch their heads or front paws. Still, we got some good hugs in. One was wet from the pond, so I smelled a bit tiger-ish the rest of the day. Their paws are a bit smaller than my hand, with impressive claws (we played with them - Look, mom! Claws out! Claws in! woohoo!) And yes, their skin is striped just like their fur.

Next we headed to the snake farm - kind of podunk, and not too impressive compared to a snake house at a US zoo - but then, we got to HOLD these snakes. The non-poisonous ones, that is. Then "Mr. Snake Man" did a little snake show for us, kissing cobras (we got to pet them, and then he showed us how to milk the venom), picking up these speedy jumping rat snakes (I think that's what they were called) with his teeth, and diving in a pool to "wrestle" with a large python type thing. The show was narrated by a younger Thai guy, in the manner of a dubbed movie - hilariously corny, with a background track and everything. Mr. Snake Man was missing a finger from a previous cobra bite (very reassuring), but he explained that they were only five minutes from a hospital that had all the antivenoms. Sounded like he knew THAT routine pretty well.

Mahout-for-a-Day

One of our splurges was a full day at an elephant camp, where they trained you to take care of and command your elephant. A lot of elephants in Thailand are exploited pretty badly, so we tried to do some research and avoid the ones where the elephants are worked long days or made to do weird stuff.

At the beginning of the day, we and the eleven other tourists in our group hopped in the van to the camp, changed into ugly but durable denim uniforms, and got our first lesson in the commands for an elephant: "pai!" (forward) ,"toi" (back), "kwaa" (right), "sai" (left), "jut!" (stop!), and, for mounting the elephant, "sok kaa" ("lift your leg up") and"soong" ("higher"). Mr. Thom, our guide, explained what elephants like to eat, how to feed them, how to climb up and down them, and how to use the elephant hook (vicious looking metal tool for guiding them, but not meant for hitting. He demonstrated its lack of sharpness on himself; apparently we're not the first tourists concerned about the welfare of the elephants.

Then we got to meet the elephants; stuffing them full of bananas and sugarcane is apparently meant to reassure them that we're friends, not to mention that it's a pretty fun job if a little slimy. Some elephants had been previously owned and taught tricks, so they demonstrated (one played harmonica, one tambourine, one "danced," most could trumpet on command. We got some sticky elephant kisses too!



Next we practiced climbing on and off (easy on the smaller ones, a bit challenging on the largest; I was one of the taller women and I still had to jump-and-scramble after climbing up to the elephant's thigh.) We also practiced our commands, turning the elephants in figure eights, backing them up, etc.

After lunch, we got our elephant assignments. Ours was named Phim - the only male in the group, about 9 years old, so still on the small side. He was a bit feisty, and WAY too interested in the females of the group. (I tried to ask if he was neutered or not, but couldn't make myself understood without getting graphic.) Scott and I loaded up, him taking the driver's spot behind the ears, and me on the middle of the spine.



OK, so riding an elephant has to be the LEAST comfortable activity in the universe! People pay for this? Our elephants spine stuck up a good four inches from his back, and straddling that, even on a blanket, was sheer misery - even worse than spinning class.

But still pretty awesome, admittedly. We took a trail ride up to the top of a hill, elephants stopping to browse for food on the way. Then switching drivers, we headed back, and ended up at a nice shady pool in the nearby river.

Then we all took off our shoes and, scrub brushes in hand, headed into the river to bathe our elephants. As a precautionary measure, the assisting mahouts had all the elephants lie on their sides in the water, and we were warned to stay away from their feet, just in case. After a thorough scrubbing on both sides, the elephants stood up and we finished the day with a water fight, humans versus elephants. One elephant, Faa, was trained to slap the water with her trunk; the others did the whole trunk suck and spray thing. Eventually, we figured out that we could seize their trunks and use them like water cannons to spray each other, which was WAY fun.

The world's smallest airport? well, prolly not.

Leaving Ko Chang ("Elephant Island" - where we saw no elephants. Maybe island is shaped like elephant?) was sad, to say the least. Our beachside bungalow...the deserted sands and bathtub-temperature water...and all the little beachside cafes where you sit on cushions on the sand by lantern light...yeah, we could have used an extra day here. Or a week. Idyllic.


I don't know why, but we (for some reason) decided to fly to Chiang Mai (via Bangkok) from here rather than take a bus to Bangkok for our flight, which would've been dirt cheap and taken maybe 3 hours longer. Anyway, this airport has three regularly scheduled flights per day. One runway, and the terminal (clearly labeled as such) doesn't have an indoors, per se - it's all open air. There is one baggage scanner (no durian fruits allowed, and after your baggage goes through, the employee puts a sticker on it and hands it back to you, so you can go check in! Convenient, if not perhaps TSA-approved. There's one check-in line, one runway...you get the idea. But the airport was beautifully landscaped, had free internet terminals, free juice/water/coffee/pastries...really, far nicer than anywhere else we'd been. Strange dichotomy.





Regardless, we and our baggage made it safely to Chiang Mai (northern city in Thailand, near the border of Burma.) We're still sunburned, and I'm starting to itch/peel. It's so exciting to see clouds of little dead skin flakes "poof" into the air whenever I take off my shirt. Well, OK, not really, and I can't change my clothes without help. Bah!

Score: SPF 50 - 0; Lat 11°N - 1

Holy cow are we sunburned.

Snorkeling the coral forests around the islands in the southern Thai archipelago today. Emily and I slathered on huge quantities of our waterproof, fit-to-keep-babies-bums-white super SPF 50 sunblock, which is like Elmer's glue going on. And you have a visible oily sheen when you are done, like you've dipped your face in Canola oil. Yum. Unfortunately, either its 'waterproof' marketing is a bald lie, or it is not up to sub-Tropic of Cancer sunpower. Because we are toasted.

We'll post pics when we get home. Emily's back looks like it was slapped (repeatedly) with two huge red kidneys, or maybe clothes irons. Scott is blotchy all over the back, and both hands are the color of dragonfruit (our new favorite) skin.



However.



The snorkeling was tremendous. Corals of all shapes and sizes - brain-looking ones, big leafy things, mushrooms, labyrinths - unimaginable variety. I couldn't help thinking about Genesis' account of the fifth day: God creates the creatures of the water and commands them to be fruitful and multiply. "God spoke: 'Swarm, Ocean, with fish and all sea life!" as The Message puts it.



And in most every nook and cranny - between them and within - of these fabulous corals, there were little creatures carving out their niche in that ecosystem - anemones, sea cucumbers, live barnacles, and dozens of other things we couldn't even recognize.



Some of the corals were even a little drab by comparison with some of their hangers-on. From the surface (where unbeknownst to us, the tropic sun was slowly roasting us), they looked like grey-green rocks studded with huge gemstones of every color - bright blue, neon green, orange, yellow. But when you get down to it, the creatures - as bright and flashy as they are - pale next to the fractal complexity of the coral, with spines upon bumps within ridges running through crevasses. You look and look until your lungs pound and your ears throb, and then you rush up for air just to come down and look again.



And the fish! Some were under an inch long and the color of the ocean itself - only visible as shadows as they darted in schools of hundreds. Others were over a foot long, and every shape and size you could think of in between. Pink finny ones, thick yellow-striped clown-fish looking ones, small very striking electric-blue ones.



On the slightly dangerous side, there were an impressive number of sea urchins. Black, menacing looking ones that look like something out of the Matrix maybe. Some were small, fitting in between massive corals the size of boulders. Others were enormous, with spines 10", maybe even a foot long! Em got one in the tip of her finger by accident. Our not English-speaking guide said, "We should cut it off!" Or so translated a nice bilingual co-tourist. We're still not sure if he meant the spine or the finger. I had a near brush with a back-full of them when, sitting on a rock in a shallow, a wave surprised me and pushed me back into a coral gorge. I righted myself and spun around to see a mess of the little monsters that had been lying in wait for me. The rock was obviously their trap - devious little buggers.



Amazingly beautiful, all of it. Even the urchins.



Sadly, our camera is not waterproof, so we don't have any underwater pics to share for this part of our adventure. But trust us, it was quite an experience. If you do ever get the chance to snorkel in this part of the world - take it!

Angkor Wat

Largest religious building in the world. Can I say more?

So since we lost a full day of touristing, we have to change our plans a little bit. We opt to book a private, English-speaking guide for the day of temple touring, so we'd get the most out of it. And boy, did we!

We all took a tuk-tuk out to the temples, arming ourselves with insect repellent and our very expensive Ex Officio insect-repelling clothing. We're still taking our malaria meds, but much of Cambodia is still malaria territory, so long sleeves/pants are recommended.

The Ex Officio clothes, by the way, don't seem to work, nor does our insect repellent. At least, Scott didn't get bitten, but he never does. I have red ugly bites all the way up and down my legs. Sigh. Maybe it would've been worse without bug spray, at least.

Our guide, named So Pengthai (I think) tells us to call him Thai. Easy enough. He is a wealth of information, about the temples, Cambodian history, religious beliefs then and now, art, current events, politics, inter-country relations in southeast Asia, social mores and customs today...anything we want to ask about, which is awesome! We get SO much more out of the carvings at Angkor Wat and Angkor Thom/Bayon than we would have otherwise. Fascinating! We all drive back to town for lunch at the Butterfly Garden (restaurant within a butterfly sanctuary, but we don't actually see many butterflies, disappointingly enough). Then more templing in the afternoon, ending at Ta Prohm (the mostly ruined temple with all the ginormous tree roots growing all over things - you've seen photos).


We take tons of photos, which I'm sure will never be quite as good as the ones we've seen at art fairs. But that's fine. Not too many tourists around really - Thai says this tourist season has been really down, which is bad for income in this town, but nice for us! Also, it's unseasonably cool - probably only about 80 or 85, which with the humidity is still plenty warm for us, but nowhere near the 95-100 degrees we'd been expecting.

In the evening, we head off to the (touristy) Apsara Dance Evening. It's a large buffet of mediocre Khmer food (lots of variety though, including about 16 types of those gelatinous desserts I never liked even as a child). Seriously, have I EVER been to a buffet with no desserts I liked? It's very out of character for me. And then an hour of classical Khmer dance - pretty costumes, and a couple of the dancers seem pretty good, while others don't seem as unison/rehearsed as I would have expected. Anyway, we would have enjoyed the dancing more if we could have understood the narration, but it took about 30 minutes before we even realized she was speaking English, and even then we could only figure out about one word in ten.



Very tired, Scott still a bit tummy-ish, so we head home.